How to understand that you have dissolved in a relationship

Sooner or later, this happens with almost every. Communicating with someone, we feel that we are losing ourselves. It becomes hard for us to sincerely share our thoughts. And it’s not only about marriage – it can be relations with colleagues, family, friends. Sensation can only occur occasionally, but it can become our constant companion. It can be weak or absorb us entirely, and then it really seems to us that we “lost ourselves”. How to get out of this state?

You happened to believe that you are less important than a partner? Have you allowed you to handle an inappropriate way? Began to doubt their own value?

Of the entire spectrum of our experiences, one is directly related to a sense of our own value – self -esteem. “A person with self -esteem appreciates himself, and vice versa: one feeling nourishes the other,” explains Dan Newby, the coach and author of the book “Unpassed gift: the initial guide to emotional literacy”. “You know that you are important and you have something to offer others.”.

Since you are no less important than others, then you have the full right to independently manage your life

Self -esteem will allow you to defend your rights, protect beliefs and establish personal boundaries.

It sounds great, but perhaps you do not yet understand exactly how to do it. The task is not easy, but in your power to radically change your view of yourself and the world around you.

“Stubborn work on yourself will

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require and support loved ones,” Dan Newby believes. – This is one of the reasons why strong social ties are so important. Without them, we often feel lost “.

How to stop dissolving in a partner?

In order for the changes to take place faster and more reliably fixed, it is important to simultaneously work on yourself at the level of the body, language and emotions.

Signs of self -doubt

What happens at the level of the language when we “lose ourselves”? We begin to say something like: “Why can’t I stand up for myself?”,” I am already myself (a) I do not understand who I am/such “,” I no longer know who to believe “. At the bodily level, we begin to stoop. On emotional – we feel confusion, anxiety, uncertainty.

Signs of self -esteem

Now imagine how he talks to yourself and how a person is kept, full of self -esteem.

You must confidently stand on your feet, without humping and not stooping, straightening your shoulders and raising your head. This is a bodily expression of dignity and self -esteem. Breathe evenly and deep. Imagine yourself as a king or queen – your pose demonstrates power, but at the same time you are not tense.

Smile broadly, raise your hands and shout: “I am worthy/worthy of respect and myself (a) will decide how to live”. It sounds a little strange, but just try!

After trying, you will feel how your body reactions will change. When you stop suppressing your internal state or fleeing it, and openly accept it, completely different emotions will arise: fun, joy and self -esteem.


“Respecting ourselves, we feel calm and inner strength. The reaction of others is also changing – they often begin to listen to us and take into account our opinion, ”the expert is sure.

Developing self -esteem, you will begin to feel the right to resent the violation of your boundaries. Suppose the interlocutor is clearly disrespectful of you. It is not necessary to be angry – you can calmly, but firmly express your discontent.

As you find self -esteem and self -esteem, you will begin to better understand yourself, your true beliefs and desires. This will help you make decisions yourself and bear responsibility for them.

However, you need to be prepared for the fact that the dynamics of your relationship will not remain the same

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